` me. just me *

thedaybeforelabourday

i sound so whiny. i hate it. im trying to stop ): my mum says i should be careful. i am like at the brink of falling into self pity. just over one dumb post.

im really happy malisa got in. yupps. she's been my friend for like five years? and i rmb hw we used to talk over the phone like nearly every night. we'll gossip and stuff. then we'll discuss homework. during mep lessons we'll kope each other's food and stuff. then esp when we were studying our dear little subject of geography. hehh. it was just unforgettable lahh.

okayyy. i hate the implications of the results. i really do. it shows how much i have actually done in this past four and a half months. i've been my real self. i've been enjoying every bit of it. yet. it doesnt get me anywhere.

i have to be more realistic. my dad says i gotta be stronger. i cant be crying over every little thing. i gotta fit into this world. you cant escape politics. which is about acting? hehh. i need to be more task oriented. not just people oriented. ~~stick with the lower class.~~

yes. hehh. yes. and guess what. im really proud of my dear 1S03C clique. yupps. they all got what they wanted *applause*

hulin and jason got into odac comm. zixi is gym vice cap. jeremy is table tennis captain. charmaine is alchemy chair. me? i dont knw. charmaine has lent a listening ear. i really appreciate that (: but it's different. i alr feel like qt inferior in terms of results. look at the assignments and common tests and lecture tests and quizzes. and their like so gd. they have friends. the only thing different is they havent found their *ahem* is that the cause? rahhhs.

i have found some pple i can talk to. but still. it's fake. i have to watch what i say all the time. i still have to use codes. i dont knw whether to fully trust anyone anymore. yes. it sucks. i have to watch out for myself. ): at least i have wil. i can just tell him anything without thinking. (: thanks thanks so much. i dont knw hw i could have gone through all these without you.

~~i badly need a tight hug.~~

i just need one chance ):

~~sometimes~~ ignorance is bliss

xxx
; SMILE